She asked her daughter, do you know other kids who have been teased? When Nelsen’s daughter reported being teased about her curly hair, Nelsen saw an opening to talk about the feelings of others. Another of Hendricks’ proactive suggestions: “I’d tell my child to look for someone else who is lonely to be their friend.” Enroll your child in an activity so that he has more opportunities to make friends.
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Talk to your child’s teacher and ask what they’ve observed about your child’s social skills and interactions with his peers. “Maybe they’re shy or obnoxious or hygiene is an issue,” she says. If you suspect there’s something more to your child’s assertion that he’s not well-liked, do some troubleshooting, says Mormon Moms blogger Heidi Allen Hendricks.
#ALL THE OTHER KIDS SONG HOW TO#
“Also it helps them understand how to go through that process on their own.” There was another game and they didn’t see me.’ If they come to that conclusion on their own, they’re much more likely to believe it,” says Reicher. They weren’t really running away from me. “Ask a lot of questions to lead them through the thought process, so that they can own their own feeling of, ‘Oh, you know what? I don’t think that is really true. Have faith in your child’s ability to successfully weather the negative experiences in life, says Nelsen, and she will learn to have that same faith in herself.Īfter you’ve expressed empathy, asking your child questions, such as ‘Why do you think that?’ can help kids analyze the problem and arrive at their own solutions. When your child expresses to you that they’re feeling hurt or sad, validating that feeling and letting them experience it is an important practice for handling such feelings as she gets older, says Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline. You say something like, ‘Oh sweetie, I know you feel like everyone hates you, that’s really painful,’ says Reischer. “Starting with empathy is the most important thing. “By listening you can figure out if there’s a real problem, like bullying or something missing in your child’s social skills, that needs to be attended to,” she says. You want to understand if there’s a bigger pattern of your child being excluded, or if this is a one-time occurrence. The first thing to do is listen, says Levine. A small slight can easily get blown out of proportion and lead your child to come home and declare that they haven’t a friend in the world. Here are six ways to transform a painful moment into an opportunity for growth and a chance to learn a valuable life skill.Įveryone has a bad day. You’re going to get dropped by a girlfriend, you’re going to get dropped by a boyfriend.” Addressing “Nobody likes me.” ‘Why do you think that happened? Did you have anything to do with it? What do you think of this person as a friend now?’ Because that’s going to happen in life. When this happens, she says, “It’s an opportunity to learn about the complexities of friendship. “It’s very hard to sit back and just listen because we want to get on the phone and call the mother of the girl who won’t talk to our daughter anymore and say, ‘What’s going on with your daughter?’ But nobody really learns anything from that,” says Madeline Levine, author of Teach Your Children Well. Instead of rushing to smooth things over when a child feels disliked, experts agree, parents should focus on teaching their child to help themselves. “But we have to hold ourselves back because if we do that, we inadvertently send the message that those feelings are bad, that maybe they can’t handle those feelings, and most importantly, it doesn’t give them the opportunity to develop coping skills.” So we want to fix it it’s a very strong impulse,” says parent coach and psychologist Erica Reischer. “As parents, what we want to say is, ‘That’s not true!’ because it’s painful for us to think that people hate our child, and it’s painful that our child thinks someone hates them.
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Your first instinct may be to try to fix it, or assure your child that it isn’t true. Seeing her face light up as she repeats the words and tries to mimic all the hand motions is one way God blesses me with joy.“Everyone hates me.” “I have no friends.” These aren’t easy things for parents to hear.
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Have you sang any of these with your kids or do you have another favorite song? I admit that sometimes I don’t know all the words when I’m singing with my daughter, but it’s not about getting everything perfect. [Yell "right arm, left arm, right leg, left leg, chin up" and move all, as if marching.